so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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