At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize