This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
accomplished twins. life is a go
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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