the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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