just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My liver just had a heart attack.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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