Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
