awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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