Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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