At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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