i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
