Pappa wants mamma naked
its not stalking. its research.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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