what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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