Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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