Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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