How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize