I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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