Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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