How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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