He is an equal opportunity slut.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He passed out mid-signature
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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