Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Randomize
