If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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