I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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