i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
