stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
