i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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