I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
