"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
