if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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