The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
