based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize