We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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