I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
