Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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