Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My first STD was from a foam party
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
