I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
