y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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