I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
