I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Apparently you make a good broom.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
