I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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