Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
