Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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