He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
God, I missed his penis.
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