Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize