but the lizard people decide everything anyway
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
we're making bets on your personal life
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
