How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
