So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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