Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
