Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
