She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
