Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so let's talk penis.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
