I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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