wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
