You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
