So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
