the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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