alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
