oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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