Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
