and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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