I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
