I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
