Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
