4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
