And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
