I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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