Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
