I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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