The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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