Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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